so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
