something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
