we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
