I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
