either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
