Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
