I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
