I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
