if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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