in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
