guys are only as good as the porn they watch
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
