Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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