Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
