4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
