You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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