hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
