well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
