It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
