I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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