There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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