True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I believe in your delicious
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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