Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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