Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My pussy is not your playground.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
