So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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