i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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