Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
