You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
