before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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