his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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