Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
