I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
