You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize