Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
