operation harelip BJ is a go
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We left the knife in your bed.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
