eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
