I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
