Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize