Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
