I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
