She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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