At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize