Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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