that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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