yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Randomize