Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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