Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Watching her eat just hurts me
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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