tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
