I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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