how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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