get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
