Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
