she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
