RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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