I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
