Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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