I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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