Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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