i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize