I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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