susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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