people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
