She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
