oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
