make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
