If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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