I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
