i think i have herpe
just one?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We have started to decorate penises.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
