I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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