You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
The best revenge is premature balding
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
