I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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