I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
