can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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