HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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