I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
