R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
