Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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