come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
This is my gift to your gina
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
