Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
