i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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