is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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