i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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