i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Randomize
