I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Bring me that man meat
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
