hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
